I recently read this in an article. It was so interesting. Part of this blog was to share, and yet I have also taken it down publicly. This makes me think about the change of expression that a blog implies and the holding back that taking it down accomplishes.
Excellent article...(long but good). "The meaningful life, then, has four properties. It has purposes that guide actions from present and past into the future, lending it direction. It has values that enable us to judge what is good and bad; and, in particular, that allow us to justify our actions and striving as good. It is marked by efficacy, in which our actions make a positive contribution towards realizing our goals and values. And it provides a basis for regarding ourselves in a positive light, as good and worthy people"
ReplyDeleteTaking your blog down, shutting the door, not speak out, what moves you and what motivates you implies maybe vulnerability, confusion, doubt? Accomplishes? Depends..This implies efficacy...has accomplished anything for the writer? Maybe a temporary sense of protection...time for reflection.
Are we happy, are we doing what makes us happy or what makes others happy? Is it effective? Is it meaningful?
Another good note in the article:"It feels as though happiness comes from outside, but the weight of evidence suggests that a big part of it comes from inside. Despite these realities, people experience happiness as something that is felt here and now, and that cannot be counted on to last. By contrast, meaning is seen as lasting, and so people might think they can establish a basis for a more lasting kind of happiness by cultivating meaning."
Happiness is very closely tied to be able to fully express ourselves and our feelings. Is a human right! It is critical...being able to be ourselves without judgement is critical to our self esteem and ultimately happiness.
I thought the descriptions of givers and takers was also interesting...I consider myself a giver, some times to my own detriment. And I find it is true that a meaningful act of helping others can come to the cost of my own happiness...and we do that until we are drained and lose our own meaning our own happiness and ourselves...it is important to remember to keep a healthy balance. It is important to realize whether what we are doing for others is actually effective or just detrimental not only for them but to ourselves: Example, feeding our children instead of serving food and eat along them so they can learn on their own how to do it...it might be messy, it might take long but ultimately not only encourages them to try achieving skills, self-sufficiency and independence..in the end they will feel capable of taking care of themselves, instead of crying and yelling at us for service. Neither part is happy this way in the long run . Lately I have been leaving my almost 6 year old prepare his own sandwiches and cut his own apples the way he wants them..and his pride of being able to take care of his own needs is reflected on the smile he has when he walks out with a full plate he prepared himself. For me, using that time for other things and seeing him becoming capable is also rewarding.
Don't let your voice fade, whether because of fear or judgement or because others might feel hurt by words or actions. In the end it is that persons choice to understand and respect your actions....and see their value, their meaning...and ultimately respect you. It could even inspire them to look within and find their meaning, their own happiness. The happiness of others is not our responsibility....all we can do is inspire them with our actions, our words and our own happiness.