What you can learn on a long trip....

A few weeks ago, my son and I were going to Niagara Falls to see the “frozen falls”.  It was, of course, freezing.  As we drove from our house in Southcentral Pennsylvania through the frozen landscape of Pennsylvania and New York, my son looks at me and says, “it is really cold.  What the hell are we doing?”

Maybe not that direct, but pretty close. 

Out of the mouths of eleven year olds!

So we talked and decided we should head south.  This last weekend provided an opportunity, as he had a Spring Break from School.  So I took off a few days of work and we decided to go south.  Now, I had no agenda and no plan.  Neither did he.  But I knew I couldn’t just tell his mother I was going south, so I had to think of something.  Finally, some friends suggested I just come up with a plan (subject to change, of course) to make her comfortable. 

I called around and found that this was a holiday.  Easter to be exact.  Finding a campground was not necessarily easy.  After all, there was a three night minimum, there were a lot of people traveling.  We wanted a campground because we wanted to keep our trip as simple and inexpensive as possible. 

Ultimately, I found a campground in Saint Augustine, Florida that would accept us for two nights.  Saint Augustine is the oldest settlement in North America.  At least, the oldest one still occupied.  I had been there a long time ago and remembered the Castillo de San Marco and the cannon.  I knew the beach was there.  I also knew that it was going to be warm!  So I made campsite reservations and got ready to go. 

This was the longest driving trip my son had ever taken.  He is energetic, adaptable and generally up for adventure.  However, Mapquest told us 13 hours or so and I questioned how we would do.  So we set off at 5:00 am (an Alpine start) and headed south on a Thursday morning. 

The longer we drove, the warmer it got.  We saw little difference the first few hours around Baltimore and Washington DC.  But by the time we got out of the car in Virginia, we were feeling it.  Just about that time…all the electronics I had so carefully charged the night before ran out of juice.  No ipod (so darn little music), no tablet (so no games), the dvd was dead (so no movies).  We still had four states to cross and probably eight hours.  But my son just took it in stride and to my amazement, started singing!  One of the things I learned on this trip was how many songs he knew! 

By North Carolina, the buds were out on the trees and a stray tulip or two would pop its head out of the ground.  Coats were no longer necessary.  My son watched the miles tick away on the highway signs and we tried to calculate how far and how long until the next state. We also gained an education on how much gas it takes to drive such a long distance.  Learning and memories are such great experiences for forging connections!

South Carolina looked like the “south”.  It was the furthest south I had ever driven.  I had only flown to Florida twice before, so really didn’t know what to expect.  The people started wearing shorts.  There were southern accents (although much less pronounced than I would have thought).  All along the way, we saw historical and environmental places we could have and should have stopped at.  But, alas, this was a short trip and we had miles to go before we could sleep. 

As we approached the Georgia border I told my son, when we hit the border, we can look at the sign and see how far it is across Georgia.  Once we get to Florida we have about 50 miles to go, so we will have some idea how far we have to go.  Now, I had looked at the map and Georgia seemed so SMALL on the map.  I had hoped maybe 50 miles.  I thought maybe 70.  Imagine my chagrin when the sign said 146 miles to Jacksonville!  I was so dumbfounded!  My son just laughed and laughed at me.  I was again amazed at his good nature and how well he was learning to adapt.  Of course, he had eaten a quart of cucumbers, a quart of strawberries, a banana and a bunch of lunch meat.  He also had drunk all our water and had a Gatorade.  I continue to believe almost anything is possible with the right snacks. 

Our 13 hour trip turned into 15 and we pulled into Saint Augustine about 7:00.  We knew we were within a few miles of the campground, but now had no idea how to get there.  So we pulled out the GPS (which I had steadfastly refused to use up until that point), punched in the address and were there in minutes.  Checking in, we found we were nearly the last persons there.  We proceeded directly to the site and I set up our tent, while my son explored the campground and started to make friends.  We were actually tired after that long drive (even though we had had very little physical activity, and turned in after showers about 10:00…

Only to be awakened about 12:00 when the “neighbors” to the north of us got there.  Talking, doors, clanging of poles, instructions all rang out through the dark.  We lay awake listening and trying to ignore the noise.  Finally it quieted down.  To the south and somewhere else, a baby or two cried out from time to time.  But generally, we were snug and happy.  It was warm!

When we woke up and went outside, I was amazed!  A “tent city” sprung up to our north.  A UHaul was parked within a few feet of our tent.  On the other side were a couple tents, a net “house”, some grills and assorted chairs and things.  It looked like someone had brought their whole house!  We said help to everyone, got some coffee and chicken noodle soup for breakfast and then got the bikes we had so carefully driven all the way from PA off the top of the car so we could go on our “adventure”. 

Leaving the campground a little after 9:00 we headed north to Saint Augustine about three miles away.  Navigating the roadways at that hour proved easy and there were bike lanes to make it easier.  Even so, it is tough to just start biking after a long drive the day before. 

The first thing we came across was a skate park.  Now, we didn’t have skateboards, but that didn’t stop my son.  He just rode his mountain bike on in and started taking the dips and curves.  He had an absolute blast!  It was only as we were leaving we noticed the sign that said “no bikes”.  But no one had seemed to notice or care. 

Heading along, we had planned to visit the historic Castillo de San Marco first, then have breakfast.  I knew they would shoot off a cannon at some point and also that there was likely to be less people first thing in the morning.  We rode over the drawbridge (along with some choice words from me about going faster, as the bike lane abruptly ended at the bridge).  Once safely locked up, we walked along the concrete walkway that served as a boardwalk and went to the fort.  Seven dollars for me and free for my son.  We had made it JUST before the cannon demonstration.  So we hurried up and heard the big “boom”, which my son said wasn’t as loud as I had warned him it would be (it wasn’t).  We then checked out the rooms and the old guns and weapons laying around. 

After we were satisfied, it was time to explore on foot.  So we headed off for the old town.  This was interesting and we did find an old cathedral which had a sign dating it to 1565.  Overall, however, Saint Augustine was full of touristy shops and restaurants.  None of which held our fancy.  We had decided on ice cream for lunch!  Finally, we spotted an ice cream shop and had a satisfying brunch of ice cream.

Something I should mention about my son.  He likes jewelry.  Shiny, bright diamonds, dark sapphires and glistening emeralds.  So, of course, he spotted a jewelry shop and had to go in.  He would look around and announce he liked something.  I said, “of course you do, it is ONLY $3,200.00!”  We had a good conversation with the worker, who gave us some ideas of other things to do, and I finally got my son to leave.  He then found his second love:  swords.  A shop full of swords, to be exact.  He fancies himself a “ninja” and could not stop looking at the swords and Shurikens and other exotic weaponry.   Finally, in a store with all kinds of crystals and things, my son “negotiated” a price for some crystals that you hang in windows to catch the sun.  They were priced at $4.95 each and he somehow negotiated a price of $2.00 each.  I had no intention of buying anything, but seeing how well he did, I could not resist picking up a few for us.  Well!  This was enough “shopping” for me!

We walked back and got the bikes and started to “explore” by bike.  Just riding around the town at random.  We passed many older homes, Flagler College, cobblestoned streets.  Just a general nice way to look around.  It got hotter and hotter throughout the day.  By now, I was hungry for some real food and we found a Cuban bakery and went inside.  The owner was from Cienfuegos, Cuba and had a good menu of Cuban food.  Cuban sandwiches, empanadas, churros, and my favorite, guava shakes.  We had a good meal to tide us over and decided it was time to head south again and look for the beaches.  By now, the temperature in the sun was 104.7!  I am sure the air wasn’t quite that hot, but it still was a world of difference from PA and almost surreal compared with Niagara Falls. 

Retracing our steps, we crossed the drawbridge (my son insisted I go first and paid me back with a few choice words of his own) and then rambled down some side roads to find a lighthouse.  Two hundred eight steps.  Definitely the highest above sea level we would be in Florida.  The grounds were beautiful and afforded a decent view of the ocean and some nurseries, which abound in Florida.  At least in my experience.  The people were so friendly and made us feel comfortable as we walked the grounds.  My son wondered out loud what would happen to the people below if he dropped a coin on their heads.  Luckily, we neither had a coin, nor did he actually attempt such a thing.  But it was a good lesson in “gravity” and falling objects. 

A few choice questions got us directions to Anastasia State Park.  Only $2.00 a person if biking for entrance and the beach was absolutely stunning.  We rode down the access road with no hands singing “Redemption Song” together.  As I locked the bikes, my son ran ahead across the 200 yeard or so boardwalk toward the beach.  I saw him up ahead talking with a woman.  As I caught up, he took off again and the woman turned to me with a slight southern drawl and asked “is that your son?”  I said yes, a little worried about what he might have said or done.  But her response was delightful!  She said he was charming.  Talked to her just like an adult asking where she was from, how she liked the beach, etc.  She also remarked how polite he was!  Now really, that is heartwarming to a father. 

Three hours. 

Three hours my son played in the waves (the water was still pretty chilly) and thoroughly enjoyed soaking up the sun.  I picked a few shells, although I didn’t need any at all.   The beach was flat, long and hard packed.  Not what we were used to.  You could walk out a pretty long ways and still only be up to your waist.  There were surfers, sunbathers and generally people from all over.  Of course, he made some “friends” and continued to play until the clouds rolled in and I insisted we start back before it got cold enough to “chill” us.  Really?  Still operating on “northern” assumptions?  But we left anyways and we did dry off riding the bikes back.  First to the skate park for another hour of fun, then back to the campground for some dinner and a rest. 

We didn’t have any food really, just some lunch meat left.  So we walked to the local Dollar General and got buns, cheese, graham crackers, saltines, and a small bag of Cheetos.  A nutrition lesson in and of itself.  No, we can’t have ice cream (how would we keep it frozen).  No, we can’t have cookies (didn’t we have ice cream for lunch).  No, we have some meat, so we have to work with what we have.  Also, a lesson in economics.  NO!  We cannot afford to “go out” for dinner! 

Back at the camp, I used my pack stove (single burner, butane) to heat up meat for sandwiches.  We had a good meal and my son decided it was time to swim. Now, the campground had a pool, but it was unheated.  Probably no problem in Florida in summer, but in early April, it was the first really “cold” thing we found!  Still, we both got in (I got out right away), and my son made some more friends.  From Virginia and then from Charlotte, North Carolina.  I was gratified to see how easily he spoke to kids and adults on this trip.  Authentic.  Polite.  Just “Hi, my name is _____.  What’s yours?  Where are you from?  How long have you been here?  What do you like to do?”  This was the kind of growth I had hoped for from a trip like this, but it is only a small part of what we both learned.  While he learned to interact, I also learned to leave him be.  He could handle interpersonal relations on his own. 

After hot showers and getting ready for bed, we retired.  At this point, things got pretty funny.  About midnight (is that the witching hour?) we were awakened by someone yelling at the site next to ours.  A woman was calling a name (my name) and yelling for someone to “come back here”!  Grady and I both looked at each other.  We clearly did not know these people.  A short while later we heard her talking with a man (who I guess she was calling) having a heated conversation.  About the same time, someone at the next site began a heated conversation about money, God, religion and life in general.  A little later someone else came over and started what I can only call “flirting” with the woman next to us.  Then there was a general cacophony as they decided to go “fishing” (it was 1:00 am, by now).  Finally, the sound of a paddleboat, which I don’t believe they had “rented” ended with a “splash” and things started to quiet down.  I won’t say this wasn’t fueled by some spirits that were being imbibed, but it was slightly comical to have it all go on within feet of where we lay!

The next morning we loaded up and headed north, saying goodbye to Florida and warmth.  I planned on “taking our time” back, but quickly began to realize this was a much longer trip than I had realized.  I hoped to reach Kitty Hawk, North Carolina and have some time to look around and maybe fish off the pier.   But as the day wore on, it became more and more apparent we were barely going to get there by dark.  When we pulled off I-95 at Rocky Mount, North Caroline, there was a sign for Nag’s Head, 146 miles.  Grady and I just laughed and laughed as we realized it seems like 140 mile or so mistakes were a part of this trip.  Singing songs and driving along, we finally pulled into our campground just before dark.  Tired, hungry and ready for food and sleep.  Luckily, we were permitted to pull our car up close to a couple trees and hang hammocks, so we went out for wings and came back in the dark to hang our hammocks. 

I had not counted on the fact it would be chilly at night this far north.  I lost one of our two sleeping bags when I separated from my wife a little over a year ago, so my son got the sleeping bag and I got a fleece liner and fleece blanket.  It was barely enough.  I felt very cold everytime I moved around.  We could hear coyotes howling through the night.  Overall, however, we both thought the hammocks were a great success.  No hard ground, easy to set up and put away.  Hot showers in the morning, coffee and the ubiquitous breakfast of chicken noodle soup and we were on the road again. 

This being Easter, it seemed almost everything was closed.  We stopped and visited an old graveyard (I have a thing for graveyards) while the church next door was having an Easter service.  We had a brunch of Krispy Kreme donuts and lunch at Taco Bell.  The highlight was driving across the Chesapeake Bay on the “bridge/tunnel”.  First a bridge, then a tunnel, then a bridge, then a tunnel, then a bridge.  My son was terribly disappointed that there were no windows in the tunnels so he could look out underwater.  We traveled up the Eastern Shore of Virginia, through Maryland and parts of Delaware.  Absolutely beautiful.  Deer, birds, flea markets everywhere.  Unfortunately, we had a date with my daughter at West Chester University and could not afford any more stops!

Finally, fifteen minutes away (and an hour late) we got lost in Wilmington.  The GPS failed us.  The line was so “wide” it obscured which of the many exit lanes you should take until it was too late.  This little detour cost us 45 minutes.  After some choice words that my son seemed to find agitating I explained it was not just getting lost, or the time, but that I had to go to the bathroom!  This got a hearty laugh from him.  At that point, he couldn’t stop mentioning it any chance he got just to make me more antsy! 

We pulled in almost two hours late, but were able to have a wonderful time with my daughter.  She took us to the dining hall.  Ironically, they served pizza and tacos.  We walked to a park and allowed by son to burn off a little steam and her and I to talk about school, her volunteer work for Ronal MacDonald House, her plans for roommates, her plans for after school (subject to change, of course). 

Walking back, my son kept kicking a rock and at one point we looked back and my daughter said, “uh oh, he must have kicked it into something”.  I asked why and she said look how he is just standing there staring.  “He needs to learn when he does something wrong just to look away and act like nothing happened.”  Now that is an odd lesson to learn.  They must teach that in college. 

After loading up and driving the 90 miles back to the house I stay in when I am in Southcentral PA, we were able to get a good night’s sleep and go back to school and work the next day.

This was a successful trip.  I learned a lot about long distance driving.  I learned about myself, that I feel comfortable when there is no real plan.  That I can deal with mistakes in distance, getting lost, odd campsite neighbors, talking in Spanish, finding my way.  I also learned my son is adaptable, that he has great ideas.  That he enjoys meeting and seeing people and new places as much as me.  I learned he is good at negotiating (although I still don’t know exactly how he does it).  He learned that highways have mile markers and that those markers mean something real in terms of distance.  He learned that changes in latitudes make a difference.  He learned to read directions, maps, road signs and the ever important speed limit signs.  He still wants to know why there are red left arrows in every state south of Pennsylvania. We had long conversations in the car about houses, homes, relationships, jobs, schools, plans for the future and Legos.  All the while learning more and more about what we want out of life.   

Most of all, we learned to lean on each other.  To listen to each other.  To make allowances for each other.  To love each other.  And bring good snacks.